What’s It Really Like to Be the One With All the Answers?

You ever feel like you’re everybody’s personal Google? Like, no matter what, folks are always asking you for advice, tips, and solutions because they know you’ll come through? I get it—it’s a compliment at first, but after a while, being the go-to person starts feeling less like love and more like labor.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s cool that people trust your expertise, but danggggggg, it can also be exhausting. Before you know it, you’re spending more time helping everyone else than focusing on yourself. And the worst part? Sometimes it feels like people are just taking advantage of your knowledge without really appreciating what it costs you to give it.

I like to call it the emotional toll of being the “answer key”

Being the person who “knows everything” isn’t as glamorous as it sounds. It actually comes with more than a few emotional side effects:

It’s draining as hell: When folks constantly come to you, it can feel like you never get a break. You’re always on call, always solving somebody’s problem. It’s like, when do I get to sit down?!

You start feeling unappreciated: People hit you up when they need something, but how many are really checking on you? That’s when it starts to feel less like friendship and more like you’re getting used.

Your relationships get lopsided: At some point, you realize you’re pouring into everyone else’s cup, but no one’s filling yours. And it’s wild how quickly you go from being everyone’s hero to feeling lowkey resentful.

If you’re wondering how I know, it’s because I found myself being everyone’s personal Google.

Let me set the scene. I’m deep in the zone, at work, because you know i do have a 9-5 🙄. My phone rings—it’s a friend. So, I pick up thinking it’s something urgent. Nope, it’s “Hey, real quick—what hashtags should I use for my IG post?” Whew! That’s the kind of stuff that makes you wanna hit folks with the quick, “Google’s free, sis.” But no, I helped out… again. And guess what? Not even a “thank you” after. Crickets.

It’s giving, “Why am I always the one you come to, but never the one you check on?”

Let’s be real—sometimes we all feel like we have to be everything to everyone. Whether it’s friends, family, or coworkers, people always seem to need something, and it’s easy to feel guilty when you can’t be there every single time. 

But here’s the truth: constantly being “on” for others can leave you drained and resentful. I’ve learned the hard way that setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Pulling back and setting boundaries doesn't make me the villain—it makes me smart. I've learned that feeling guilty about not being available to everyone all the time is just unnecessary pressure. I have to protect my peace. So I’ve figured out how to pull back without feeling like the bad guy.

First, I set boundaries like I mean it. When people hit me with endless questions, I make it clear when and how much I’m able to help. I’ve started telling my friends, “If it’s a quick ask, I’m happy to help. But if you need something more in-depth, let’s schedule a time—or better yet, try Googling it first.” That way, I set the expectation early and I don’t overextend myself.

Next, I make people work for it. Instead of being the one with all the answers, I’ll point them to resources where they can figure things out on their own. I might send a helpful YouTube tutorial or an article that explains what they need to know. This way, I’m still being supportive, but I’m not doing the heavy lifting, and they get the opportunity to learn something new.

Lastly, I remind myself that self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Whether I’m turning off my phone for a few hours or doing something for myself that has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else, I take the time to recharge. I can’t be out here trying to save everyone when I’m running on empty, so I give myself permission to step back when I need to.

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean burning bridges. I’ve learned there are ways to protect my energy and still maintain good relationships.

Look, being that person who has all the answers can be great—until it’s not. The real trick is learning how to protect your peace while still being there for others. You’ve got to save yourself from burnout. You deserve time for your own projects, your own mental health, and your own peace.

Boundaries aren’t just a suggestion—they’re a lifeline. Start saying no, and watch how your energy shifts. You can’t be everybody’s problem-solver 24/7. So next time you feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath and remember: It’s okay to let folks know, “I’m tapped out.” You matter too.